This post has two parts.  This is the first and the second can be found here.

A week ago today (as in last Tuesday) was the two month anniversary of my mom’s death. I got through the day fairly well, likely because it was a busy day between a playdate at McDonald’s (with my fabulous moms’ group) and the driving my dad to Mesa to pick up a car and then ending with taking the kids to tae kwon do (and receiving the great news that the sensei will let Jake keep his blue belt and just get him up to speed since his blue belt is in karate).

I following day I also kept busy enough around the house to not dwell on anything negative or emotional.  Tom and I went out for a date and had a great time, so the day ended nicely enough. (Although I found myself strangely antsy and worried about the kids; the restaurant is a mile from the house so that part was kind of silly. I think it’s because D occasionally still puts chokable objects in his mouth. We’re working on it but ever since the Barbie Shoe incident I’ve been really paranoid that he’ll choke!)

Later that night I had trouble falling asleep and should have tried a melatonin but by the time I realized I was up so late, it was too late to take one. I found myself getting extremely emotional about all sorts of things…mid-life crisis sorts of things…and normally if I felt that badly about *anything* I’d call my mom ASAP and we’d spend hours talking it out.  I’d hang up feeling better (and usually with a plan) and then everything would be OK.  And middle-of-the-night was no problem–if it was a *real* emergency (like when a newborn Katie slid off my lap onto the floor while I was nursing at 3am…another story for another post!) I could call at any hour.  If necessary, she’d stay on the phone long enough to make sure everything was fine and until I was calm.  If the matter wasn’t urgent enough to wake her, I could go to sleep knowing I could call her when I woke up.

Of course I can’t call her anymore. 🙁   I miss this.  But I realized that I have someone else in my corner, who was willing to sit and talk to me for an hour at 4am, even though it made him late for work.  My husband.